How Many Stages of Grief Are There?
The most widely recognized model identifies five stages of grief, though researchers have developed 7-stage and 8-stage frameworks to capture the full complexity of loss. Whatever you are feeling right now is valid. If you are searching for answers about grief stages, you are likely seeking to understand an experience that can feel overwhelming and confusing. There is no single "right" way to grieve, and these stages are guides, not requirements.
What grief researchers consistently emphasize is that grief is deeply personal, and no model can fully capture your unique experience. Many people find comfort not in following a prescribed path, but in discovering what brings them peace in their own time. For some, that means seeking professional support. For others, it means finding tangible ways to stay connected to the person they have lost.
Parting Stone has supported families through this process by transforming cremated remains into 40 to 80 smooth, touchable stones. These solidified remains offer a meaningful alternative to conventional ashes, one that can be held, shared among family members, and kept close during every stage of grief. As one customer from Arizona reflected: "As a widow, I found Parting Stones to be a valuable and comforting way to grieve, to remember shared experiences, and to invite my late husband along on new adventures."
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We transform cremated remains into beautiful, touchable stones that bring comfort when you need it. Something you can hold, share, and keep close.
The Classic Five Stages of Grief
The five stages of grief represent the most recognized framework for understanding loss. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced this model in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, originally describing the emotional journey of terminally ill patients. Over time, mental health professionals adapted these stages to describe the broader experience of bereavement.
The five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Denial serves as a protective mechanism, allowing the mind to process loss gradually rather than all at once. Anger may emerge as the reality of loss sets in, sometimes directed at the situation, at others, or even at the person who died. Bargaining often involves "what if" and "if only" thoughts as the mind searches for ways the loss could have been prevented.
Depression in grief differs from clinical depression; it represents the profound sadness that accompanies recognizing the permanence of loss. Acceptance does not mean being "okay" with the loss but rather acknowledging the reality and learning to live with it. Consider a widow who, eighteen months after losing her spouse, finds herself ready to explore how to honor his memory in a lasting way. Parting Stone's solidified remains enable families like hers to keep their loved one close in a form that feels comfortable to touch and hold, supporting the grief journey rather than rushing it.
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The Seven Stages of Grief
The seven stages of grief expand upon Kubler-Ross's original framework to include additional emotional experiences that many grieving individuals recognize in their own journeys. This expanded model adds shock and testing to the original five stages, creating a more comprehensive map of the grief experience.
The seven stages typically progress as follows: shock and disbelief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Shock appears at the beginning, capturing the initial numbness many people experience immediately after loss. Testing occurs after depression, representing the period when individuals begin tentatively exploring life without their loved one and finding new ways to function.
According to research published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, approximately 60% of bereaved individuals experience significant shock symptoms in the first month following a major loss, with symptoms gradually decreasing over the following six months. This data supports the inclusion of shock as a distinct stage in expanded grief models.
During the testing phase, families often begin considering memorial options and how they want to honor their loved one's memory. Many families report that this stage represents a turning point when they feel ready to make meaningful decisions. The solidification service at $2,495 for human remains provides families with a tangible way to honor their loved one when they reach this stage of readiness, transforming the full amount of cremated remains into something beautiful and lasting.
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The Eight Stages of Grief and Finding Meaning
The eight stages of grief model incorporates all elements from previous frameworks while adding crucial components that reflect contemporary understanding of bereavement. This comprehensive model includes shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, acceptance, and meaning-making. The addition of meaning-making as the final stage reflects the influential work of David Kessler, who collaborated with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and later developed the concept of "finding meaning" as a sixth stage that has been integrated into expanded models.
Meaning-making involves finding purpose, legacy, or significance in the wake of loss. This stage does not suggest that the loss itself had meaning or happened for a reason. Rather, it acknowledges that many grieving individuals eventually seek to create meaning through how they honor their loved one's memory, continue their legacy, or transform their grief into something purposeful.
For many families, creating a lasting tribute becomes part of their meaning-making journey. Parting Stone customers report that sharing solidified remains among family members helps them feel connected to both the person they lost and to each other. One customer from Wisconsin shared: "I keep a stone in the car; I love this when I travel to a beloved location and I talk to Jack." This ability to carry a loved one's remains comfortably and naturally represents the kind of meaningful connection that supports long-term grief integration.
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Cremated remains can feel messy and meaningless. Instead of receiving a box of ashes following cremation, you can now receive a collection of stones. Solidified remains let you feel connection with the remains of your departed. Turn your ashes into stones at https://partingstone.com
Why Grief Is Not Linear: Understanding Your Unique Journey
Grief does not follow a predictable timeline or sequence. While stage models provide helpful frameworks for understanding grief, research consistently shows that individuals rarely move through stages in order, may skip stages entirely, revisit stages multiple times, or experience several stages simultaneously. The stages of grief should be understood as possible experiences rather than required checkpoints.
Academic criticism of stage models cautions against treating them as a "mandatory checklist." When grief models become prescriptive rather than descriptive, they can inadvertently cause harm by making bereaved individuals feel they are grieving "wrong" if their experience does not match the expected pattern. Your grief timeline is yours alone, and there is no wrong way to navigate loss.
This understanding directly influences how families approach memorial decisions. Some families feel ready to make choices within weeks of a loss, while others need years before they feel prepared. Parting Stone's approach honors this reality by welcoming families whenever they are ready, whether they are processing a recent loss or have been holding cremated remains for years. The 40 to 80 stones created through the solidification process can be shared among family members, allowing each person to grieve and remember in their own way and in their own time.
Comparing Grief Stage Models
| Stage | 5-Stage Model | 7-Stage Model | 8-Stage Model |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Denial | Shock | Shock |
| 2 | Anger | Denial | Denial |
| 3 | Bargaining | Anger | Anger |
| 4 | Depression | Bargaining | Bargaining |
| 5 | Acceptance | Depression | Depression |
| 6 | - | Testing | Testing |
| 7 | - | Acceptance | Acceptance |
| 8 | - | - | Meaning |
Table: Comparison of major grief stage models. Note that stages may overlap and do not follow a strict sequence.
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Frequently Asked Questions About Grief Stages
How long does each stage of grief last?
Each stage of grief lasts a different amount of time for every individual, and there is no standard duration. Some people may spend weeks in one stage while passing through another in days. Research indicates that acute grief symptoms typically begin to lessen between 6 and 12 months after a loss, though grief itself does not have an endpoint. The National Alliance on Mental Illness notes that grief can resurface during anniversaries, holidays, and life milestones years after the initial loss.
What if I do not experience all the stages of grief?
Not experiencing all stages of grief is completely normal and does not indicate a problem with your grieving process. Many people skip stages entirely or experience only certain stages. Grief models describe possible experiences, not required ones. Your grief is unique to your relationship with the person you lost, your personal coping style, and your life circumstances. There is no wrong way to grieve.
Is it normal to feel stuck in one stage of grief?
Feeling stuck in one stage of grief is a common experience and does not necessarily indicate a problem. However, if feelings of intense grief persist unchanged for many months or significantly interfere with daily functioning, speaking with a grief counselor or mental health professional can provide support. Complicated grief, which affects approximately 7% of bereaved individuals according to Columbia University's Center for Complicated Grief, may benefit from specialized treatment.
Can grief stages repeat or happen out of order?
Grief stages frequently repeat and occur out of order. You may experience denial early in your grief, feel you have reached acceptance, and then return to anger during a holiday or anniversary. This cycling through stages is normal and does not mean you are "going backward" in your grief. Many grief researchers now prefer models that acknowledge grief as a wave-like experience with periods of intensity and calm rather than a linear progression.
What is the difference between grief and depression?
Grief and depression share some symptoms, including sadness, sleep difficulties, and changes in appetite, but they differ in important ways. Grief typically comes in waves and is tied to thoughts of the deceased, while depression tends to be more constant and pervasive. In grief, self-esteem usually remains intact, whereas depression often involves feelings of worthlessness. Grief naturally evolves over time, while untreated depression may persist unchanged. If you are unsure whether you are experiencing grief or depression, a mental health professional can help you understand your experience.
When should I consider making memorial decisions?
Memorial decisions should be made when you feel ready, and there is no deadline or "right" time. Some families feel prepared to make decisions within weeks of a loss, while others wait months or even years. If you are currently storing cremated remains and wondering about your memorial options, you can take all the time you need.
Parting Stone welcomes families whenever they feel ready to explore solidified remains as an alternative to conventional ashes. In a recent survey of families who chose this option, 92% rated their experience 5 out of 5 stars, and when asked specifically how solidified remains impacted their grieving process, 81% described a positive effect. What resonates most consistently is the ability to hold something tangible, to share remains with family members across distances, and to keep a loved one close in daily life.
How can I support someone going through grief?
Supporting someone through grief involves listening without judgment, being present without trying to fix their pain, and respecting their individual process. Avoid phrases like "they are in a better place" or "everything happens for a reason," as these can feel dismissive of their pain. Instead, acknowledge their loss directly, offer specific help rather than general offers, and continue reaching out in the weeks and months after the initial loss when support from others often decreases.
Do children experience the same stages of grief as adults?
Children experience grief differently than adults and may not follow adult grief models. Younger children may not fully understand the permanence of death and may ask repeated questions or seem to "forget" that their loved one has died. Children often grieve in bursts, appearing fine one moment and intensely sad the next. They may express grief through behavior changes rather than words. Age-appropriate explanations, consistency, and permission to express all emotions help children navigate loss. Many families find that sharing physical mementos, such as solidified remains that can be safely held and touched, helps children maintain a tangible connection to the person they have lost.
What is complicated grief and how is it different from normal grief?
Complicated grief, also called prolonged grief disorder, occurs when intense grief symptoms persist for 12 months or longer without significant improvement. Symptoms include persistent yearning for the deceased, difficulty accepting the death, feeling that life is meaningless, and significant impairment in daily functioning. Complicated grief differs from typical grief in its intensity and duration rather than its content. The American Psychiatric Association recognized prolonged grief disorder as a diagnosis in 2022, allowing those affected to receive specialized treatment.
How do cultural differences affect grief stages?
Cultural background significantly influences how individuals experience and express grief. The five-stage model originated from Western psychological research and may not reflect grief experiences across all cultures. Some cultures emphasize communal mourning and extended grieving periods, while others encourage stoicism and private grief. Memorial practices, beliefs about death and the afterlife, and expectations for behavior all vary widely. What matters most is honoring grief in ways that feel authentic to your values and traditions, whether that aligns with stage models or not.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing. https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm
Center for Complicated Grief. (2021). Treatment of complicated grief. Columbia University School of Social Work. https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu/
Harvard Health Publishing. (2023, December 12). 5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one. Harvard Medical School. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/5-stages-of-grief-coping-with-the-loss-of-a-loved-one
Healthline. (2024, September 30). The stages of grief: How to understand your feelings. https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief
Kessler, D. (2019). Finding meaning: The sixth stage of grief. Scribner.
Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Macmillan.
Medical News Today. (2024, July 1). Stages of grief: What they are, how long, how to cope. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grieving-process
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2022). Grief and loss. NAMI Resource Guide. https://www.nami.org/
Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372(2), 153-160. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMcp1315618
The Loss Foundation. (2025, August 29). Understanding the 8 stages of grief: A guide to navigating loss. https://thelossfoundation.org/understanding-the-8-stages-of-grief-a-guide-to-navigating-loss/
Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (5th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.
