Cremated Remains vs Solidified Remains: Understanding Your Options

Reviewed By:

Cathy Sanchez Babao

Mental Health Advocate • Grief Coach • Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialist • Award Winning Author and Communications Professional

When you choose cremation, you now have two options: cremated remains or solidified remains. For many families, this choice represents one of the most meaningful decisions in honoring their loved one's memory.

We understand this is an emotionally complex time. The remains of your departed loved one are among the most emotionally powerful possessions in your life. You desperately want to feel close to them, but if you're like 75 million Americans living with cremated remains, you may find yourself struggling with anxiety, discomfort, and uncertainty about what comes next.

This guide will help you understand both options so you can make the choice that feels right for your family's unique journey.

The Hidden Challenge Many Families Face

People who live with cremated remains desperately want to feel close with them, but they can't. Instead, they fear spilling them. They get chills worrying about touching exposed remains or worse, breathing them. Many people are even afraid to look at ashes because seeing the bone fragments conjures traumatic visions of the cremation process.

In their hearts, people want to cherish the remains of their loved ones, but they feel frustrated because they don't know what to do with them. As a result, cremated remains are hidden for decades in closets, basements, and garages. And ashes begin to feel meaningless.

The emotional confusion people feel because of their complex relationship with cremated remains can inhibit effective grieving and prevent families from maintaining meaningful connections with their departed.

Understanding Cremated Remains

Cremated remains are the traditional result of the cremation process, where intense heat reduces the body to bone fragments that are then processed into a fine, granular substance. These remains typically weigh between 4-8 pounds for an adult and have a grayish-white, sand-like texture that often contains visible bone fragments.

Cremated remains are usually returned to families in a temporary plastic container or basic urn provided by the crematory. Many families then transfer these remains to a decorative urn, but the underlying challenges remain the same.

Common experiences with cremated remains:

• Anxiety about spilling or mishandling
• Discomfort with the granular texture and visible fragments
• Uncertainty about appropriate interaction
• Challenges with sharing among family members
• Concerns about travel and transport

Understanding Solidified Remains: A New Alternative

Solidified remains are a completely new form of human and pet remains. They are a complete alternative to ashes, not an addition to cremation. Through a scientific solidification process, the vast majority of cremated remains are transformed into 40 to 80 smooth stones that can be held, shared, and cherished.

Now, when you choose cremation, you will be asked: "Would you like to receive cremated remains or solidified remains?"

Solidified remains are not a product. They are remains in a solid form. The solidification process returns the full amount of remains in a solid and clean form, making it easy to get your loved one out of the closet and live with them in meaningful ways.

What solidified remains offer:

• Comfortable to hold and touch during reflection
• Natural sharing among family members without division anxiety
• Suitable for travel and life experiences
• Permanent, durable form that requires no maintenance
• Clean, solid form that eliminates spill concerns

The Science Behind Solidification

The transformation occurs through a proprietary scientific process developed using technology originally created at Los Alamos National Laboratory. This process carefully heats and compresses the cremated remains under controlled conditions, creating a chemical bond that solidifies the ash into permanent stone form.

The entire 8-10 week process maintains the complete integrity of the remains. No materials are added or removed, and the vast majority of the original ashes become part of the solidified remains. Each completed stone maintains unique characteristics based on the mineral composition of the original ashes, meaning no two collections are identical.

Comparing Your Options

Emotional Connection and Interaction

Cremated Remains: Many families find meaning in the unchanged nature of traditional ashes, but the granular texture and storage requirements can limit opportunities for meaningful physical interaction. Most families keep ashes sealed in urns, creating a barrier that can feel emotionally distant over time.

Solidified Remains: Solidified remains invite tactile connection in ways that cremated remains cannot. Families describe the profound comfort of being able to physically hold their loved one in a form that feels substantial and permanent. The stones can be incorporated into daily life, carried during travel, or held during difficult moments.

Sharing Among Family

Cremated Remains: Traditional ashes typically require single-point storage in an urn, which creates challenges for families who want to share the remains among multiple family members. Dividing ashes requires careful measurement and multiple containers, and many families feel uncomfortable with the process of physically separating the remains.

Solidified Remains: The collection of stones naturally facilitates sharing among family members without the emotional difficulty of "dividing" the remains. Each family member can receive stones while knowing they're receiving a complete, meaningful portion of their loved one.

Long-term Considerations

Cremated Remains: Cremated remains have indefinite longevity when properly stored in sealed containers, but they remain vulnerable to environmental factors. Moisture, air exposure, and physical disturbance can affect their consistency over time. The granular nature makes them susceptible to gradual dispersal during handling.

Solidified Remains: Solidified remains offer superior durability designed to last indefinitely. The stones have physical properties similar to natural rock, making them resistant to environmental factors. They won't degrade, clump, or change consistency over time, providing security for multi-generational memorial preservation.

When Each Option Might Feel Right

Solidified Remains Often Serve Families Best When:

• Multiple family members want meaningful portions of the remains
• Physical interaction and tactile comfort feel important to your healing
• Long-term durability and legacy preservation are priorities
• You're an active family who travels or wants portable memorial options
• You feel uncomfortable or anxious around traditional ashes
• You want your loved one to become part of your daily life again

Cremated Remains May Feel Appropriate When:

• Maintaining the unchanged nature of cremated remains holds deep emotional significance
• You have immediate memorial plans such as scattering ceremonies
• Cultural or religious considerations guide you toward traditional ash preservation
• You feel comfortable with the granular form and storage requirements

Real Family Experiences and Outcomes

Understanding how other families have navigated this decision provides valuable insight into the long-term satisfaction and meaningful connection each option can provide.

Cremation Stone Success Stories

One family of four adult children struggled with how to fairly share their mother's remains until discovering cremation stones. Sarah, the eldest daughter, shared: 

"We were all heartbroken about having to 'divide' Mom. When we learned about cremation stones, it felt like the perfect solution. Now each of us has our own collection, but it doesn't feel like we separated her—we all have her complete love." 

The transformation created enough stones for each child to receive a meaningful collection while establishing a family memorial garden where they gather annually. The stones' durability has allowed grandchildren to participate in memorial activities without concern about damage or loss.

A widow found profound comfort in being able to hold cremation stones during difficult moments. Margaret explained: 

"I keep three stones on my nightstand and hold them when I miss him most. There's something so comforting about having something solid to hold—it feels like I can still touch him, still feel connected. The urn was beautiful, but I couldn't really interact with it the way I can with these stones." 

She keeps several stones in different locations throughout her home, allowing her to feel close to her husband regardless of where she spends time.

An active family who travels extensively chose cremation stones specifically for their portability and durability. David, the family patriarch's son, noted: 

"Dad always said he wanted to see the world. Now he comes with us everywhere. We've brought his stones to the Grand Canyon, to Ireland where his grandparents were from, and to our daughter's college graduation. He's part of every important moment." 

They've incorporated the stones into family trips, creating new memorial traditions while maintaining connection to their loved one across different locations and experiences.

Common Concerns and How Families Resolved Them

Concern: "Are cremation stones still really my loved one?" 

Families initially worried about whether solidified remains maintained the spiritual or emotional essence of their loved one found reassurance in understanding that 100% of the original ashes become part of the cremation stones, with nothing added or removed during the process.

Concern: "Will the stones look artificial or commercial?" 

Many families appreciated the natural, river-rock appearance of cremation stones and their unique characteristics based on the individual mineral composition of the original ashes. Each collection reflects the uniqueness of the person memorialized.

Concern: "What if we change our minds later?" 

While solidification is permanent, families who chose cremation stones report high satisfaction and often wish they had made the decision sooner. The flexibility and interaction opportunities typically exceed initial expectations.

Concern: "How do we explain cremation stones to others?" 

Families found that friends and extended family members quickly understood and appreciated the memorial stone concept, often expressing admiration for the innovative approach to memorial preservation.

Making Your Decision

There's no universally "right" choice between cremated remains and solidified remains. The best option is the one that provides your family with the sense of connection, comfort, and meaning that supports your healing journey.

Consider these questions as you reflect:

• How do you envision interacting with the memorial in years to come?
• Are multiple family members seeking meaningful portions of the remains?
• Does physical interaction feel important to your family's healing process?
• How important is long-term durability and legacy preservation?

Your Next Steps

If you're considering solidified remains, take time to discuss the concept with all family members who will be affected by the decision. Understanding everyone's comfort level and preferences helps ensure the memorial choice serves your entire family's healing process.

We're here when you're ready. There's no timeline for grief, and there's no wrong way to honor someone. Your thoughtful consideration of these options demonstrates the love and care you bring to honoring your loved one's legacy.

The decision you make today will influence how your family maintains a connection with your loved one for years and generations to come. Whether you choose cremated remains or solidified remains, your loved one's memory deserves something beautiful, and you deserve to feel comfortable and at peace with your choice.

About the Editor

Cathy Sanchez Babao

Cathy Sanchez Babao is a Grief Coach at Parting Stone, a grief educator, counselor, author, and columnist who has dedicated her career to helping individuals and families navigate loss. She writes the “Roots and Wings” column for the Philippine Daily Inquirer and is the author of Heaven’s Butterfly and Between Loss and Forever: Filipina Mothers on the Grief Journey. Cathy holds a B.S. in Business Administration and Management from Ateneo de Manila University and an M.A. in Family Psychology and Education from Miriam College, with advanced grief training at the Center for Loss & Life Transition and the Center for Prolonged Grief at Columbia University.

You're Not Alone in This Journey

Many families find that traditional ashes create more anxiety than comfort—whether it's difficulty with storage, challenges sharing among family members, or simply feeling uncomfortable with the form they're in. Over 10,000 families have found peace through Parting Stone's solidification process, which transforms ashes into smooth, natural stones that feel comforting to hold and easy to share.

When you're ready to explore options:

• Learn about our solidification service
• Speak with our caring specialists

There's no timeline for grief, and there's no rush to make decisions. We're here to support you whenever you feel ready to take the next step.